Dec 25 2012

So what is Scifi hubby getting for Christmas?

I think Scifi hubby is hoping I might post what he’s getting for Christmas but he will just have to wait and see. We’re on a grown ups only Christmas so, despite the fact that its nearly lunchtime the presents are still under the tree – to be fair to everyone else this is mainly because Scifi hubby has only just emerged from under the duvet…

So instead of today’s presents I thought I’d tell you about Christmas from a few years ago…

Scifi hubby had seen a huge Batman statue based on Simon Bisley’s artwork that he saw online, bought and then told me it was my Christmas gift to him. It arrived a couple of weeks before Christmas and he laughed as I hid it away as, of course, he knew exactly what it was.

Simon ‘Biz’ Bisley is a hugely famous comic artist who we happened to make friends with a few years ago. What Scifi hubby didn’t know that Christmas was that I had contacted Simon and asked if he would sign the statue. I used to drive past Simon’s house every day on my way home from work so we agreed that I would stop by one evening and get the statue signed. Simon is one of the most disorganized people I know so I suggested that I could bring a blank Christmas card with me so he could send a card to Scifi hubby too.

I bundled the statue into the boot of the car and took it to work. Then followed a ridiculous week of actually trying to get hold of Biz whilst stopping Scifi hubby realizing the statue was in the car. Finally on Christmas eve Biz answered the phone and said he’d be at home if I came round. When I arrived his wife gave me a cup of tea and some Christmas cake whilst Simon nattered away and sketched on the base of the statue. He also produced a sketch he done that day of him and Scifi hubby dressed as Lobo and Batman (below). I couldn’t believe it. I’m not sure any Christmas present will ever top a sketch by your hero of you.

On Christmas morning all the presents were under the tree and Scifi hubby opened them all except the Bisley statue. The line “I know what it is so what’s the point” was heard until I actually had to threaten him to make him open it. I then had to get him to open the box itself which he really didn’t see the point of. Finally the penny dropped. His face as he realised that Simon had signed it was worth all the effort.

Slowly he worked out that meant I had seen Simon so I got quizzed to death. The icing on the cake was the final present I had hidden. He couldn’t believe his eyes when he saw that. I’m not sure what I can ever get him for Christmas that will top that, although he’s still not forgiven me for having tea and Christmas cake with Biz with out him.

Unfortunately I don’t think I can pull the same rabbit out of a hat twice but fingers crossed Santa brings him some nice presents to make up for it.

Happy Christmas everyone!

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Dec 16 2012

Away in a (plastic Playmobil) manger

We’ve been putting the Christmas decorations up today and in the midst of it all I found the nativity scene. Christmas is a classic example of how toys are taking over our world – although I must say this is one time of year when I actually love it.

Many years ago, for our first Christmas together we bought a tree, decorations and an angel. To be honest the tree was so small I think it was still wishing to be a Christmas tree when it grew up and, like lots of things that we bought in our early days, the angel was far too big. Somewhere I’ve got photos of this tiny tree with a huge angel balancing on the top like one of those bobble head toys.

We’re not putting a tree up this year so the accumulated toys/decorations (the entire Muppet ensemble, Jack Skeleton, Shrek, Donkey, Batmobile on ribbon, glass Santa on a motorbike, aliens etc) will have to stay in their boxes for another year. There’s a blog post there for next year…

I also insisted that we bought a nativity scene that first Christmas. I was looking at graceful wooden ones like my parents had when Scifi hubby appeared with a plastic Playmobil set. Somehow I let myself be persuaded that this was a great idea so for the last 13 years out comes the Playmobil and cue the predictable jokes about the camel shagging the donkey.

I’m still amazed that Scifi hubby hasn’t corrupted it yet and had some fun like these people clearly have with their nativity scenes…

20121216-205957.jpg Our nativity scene

20121216-210042.jpgScifi hubby hasn’t considered adding a dinosaur – yet…

20121216-210115.jpgOr adding Batman and Star Trek toys…

20121216-210149.jpgOr a full Star Wars theme…

20121216-210221.jpgAnd ‘shhhh’ please don’t tell him about this – even I draw the line at a bacon and sausage nativity!

Dec 6 2012

I’m leaving Scifi hubby… for a week

I’m travelling to the US for a few days for work so Scifi hubby is going to be home alone. I actually travel quite a lot but not usually quite so close to Christmas. This is a dangerous time of year to leave him alone as there are sales in all the shops and a string of emails advertising discounts at most of the online bookshops.

So the big question is will I get home to find:

    A. A spotlessly clean house, the cat brushed and purring on the sofa, dinner cooked and waiting for me and the Christmas presents all wrapped?
    B. A depression on the sofa from where he has spent the whole week, pizza boxes in the kitchen and a new high score in Call of Duty?
    C. The credit card maxed out, a huge pile of cardboard from parcels and a small army of new Batman toys (alright then “collectibles”) and books/comics?

20121206-072018.jpg Scifi hubby home alone?!

Nov 24 2012

What’s worse than being a COD widow?

Answer: Being a COD audience. Scifi hubby has been playing COD for ten days now. He’s played through my parents visiting, he’s played through my birthday, he’s played whilst I’ve been at work, or asleep or cooking dinner. There’s a Scifi hubby shaped dip in the sofa.

Of course, I can’t talk to him whilst he plays as “You’ll get me killed”. It’s fairly true, I only have to walk in the room he seems to die. If I speak he dies repeatedly. So I tend to sit at the other end of the sofa, reading a good book and trying to ignore him as he swears at the TV. He’s quite hard to ignore…

I was joking with a friend this week that she is like her cat – likes affection, enjoys being stroked but is flighty, only likes people on her terms and is quick to get her claws out if cornered. Scifi hubby is cat like too but more like a mouser who keeps bringing dead, and not so dead, mice into the house and miaowing to get attention until you tell him what a clever boy he is and give him a cat treat. So I’m learning to ‘appreciate’ him getting the final kill in a game, how well he can shoot zombies, how ‘camping’ is effective and the importance of a kill streak. However, I’m still working out what to give him as his ‘cat treat’…

20121124-203619.jpg I do like this (slightly adapted) photo that’s doing the rounds on Facebook

Nov 16 2012

What do you say when your husband buys you…

… Hobbit feet slippers?!

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I know that at just 5 foot 3 1/2 inches I’m shorter than your average human but that doesn’t make me a hobbit. The very fact I need the slippers to make my feet big and hairy should show that. However it’s a hard thing to dispute as there is no defined height limit for a Hobbit. He’s now making jokes like ‘shall I fetch your slippers dear’ – no I am clearly wearing my hobbit feet slippers – these are NOT my real feet – can’t you tell? Funny man. Humph!

Ewoks on the other hand I can defend against. Lucas capped them at 5 foot 3 inches so I am officially half an inch too tall to be an Ewok. It’s a very important half an inch! I even have a photo from a few years ago to prove it…

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Nov 9 2012

What do you want for Christmas?

I dread this question every year. My birthday and our wedding anniversary are quite close to Christmas too so it suddenly seems to be the question everyone is asking. I love the fact that family and friends want to buy pressies but I honestly don’t know what I want. I want them to surprise me with something perfect that I REALLY want but that I don’t know I want and certainly not something for the house or practical, unless of course that’s what I want and don’t know about… I’m not easy am I?

Scifi Hubby on the other hand has an endless list. So much so that people spend a lot of time trying to buy him something surprising that’s not on it! There’s been some great gifts over the years:

    The Batman snow globe based on the 1990s cartoon series which gave us problems as it has too much liquid to put in hand luggage but was too fragile to put in the hold.
    The ‘Profanasaurus’ which had Scifi hubby giggling like a 13 year old over Christmas dinner and made my mother keep asking him to read out why he was giggling – some words parents should just not know (just like they only ever had sex twice – once to conceive me, and once for my brother).
    A Skelton Pear Jam Tshirt which I got him for our first Christmas and he still has years later although its become PJs now.
    Signed Simon Bisley statue – more on this later…

We really don’t need presents. We go to see people at Christmas because we love seeing them not because of the cool things we take home with us. However if you really feel the need to buy presents then here’s some top tips for 2012:

    Scifi hubby’s Amazon wish list is up to date. And yes he really does want a whole series of comic books. Actually (Mum take note) it’s a route to a very quiet Christmas as, combined with some Southern Comfort, he will sit in the corner and read them quite happily…
    Don’t try buying Scifi hubby ‘clever household’ scifi presents. I’ve got a house full of lightsabre chop sticks, Batman bedding, superhero coasters, Superman bathmats etc (many of which were gifts and I love them, we just don’t need any more).
    Don’t bother with Star Wars – trust me he will have it already.
    Don’t forget dinosaurs – Scifi hubby is really a five year old so loves dinos.
    I’ve now got an up to date Amazon list too but don’t buy things from it as they are almost always cheaper elsewhere.
    Everyone will think that all the Mr Potato heads on my Amazon list are a mistake, they’re not. I actually quite like them and have a growing collection (maybe I’m becoming a secret geek?)
    If you see something and it makes you think of me then that is what to get me. Don’t ask me if I’d like it (just keep the receipt in case I don’t!).
    I’m starting a diet in January (I know, again). So please don’t buy me a tonne of chocolate.
    NO MORE MUGS.

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Nov 4 2012

(Dr) No more Bond movies or I may need a Licence to Kill

I’ve had (The World Is Not) Enough – if I see another James Bond movie I may go crazy. Sky TV currently has a whole channel dedicated to Bond movies. For two weeks now that is all they have shown and Tomorrow (Never Dies) doesn’t look any better. If You Only had to watch (Live) Twice I could cope but every time I turn around we seem to have James Bond on the tv.

He’s seducing innocent, and not so innocent, women, driving fast cars, playing with gadgets and making things explode. Not to forget the corny lines, innuendo and female names. Octopussy? Really?

Don’t get me wrong, I quite like James Bond movies but I can’t watch the same movie four times in a year let alone a week. I think I might Die (Another Day) if I have to watch anymore.

I do however want to go and see Skyfall at the cinema. Unfortunately Scifi hubby didn’t fancy it today so maybe next weekend. Meanwhile I’m off to find a martini – shaken, not stirred.

From Scifi wife (Russia) with Love

Oct 31 2012

I feel a disturbance in the force #StarWars

As I’m sure the whole world knows by know George Lucas has just sold Lucasfilm to Disney for $4billion (official press release here). Scifi hubby spotted it on Facebook earlier and laughed thinking it was a joke. Then more people posted it so he checked if it was 1st April and he hadn’t realised. Then the news started to break across the web and Twitter went crazy. Finally the official press release was released and then film of Lucas himself talking about it. THEN came the announcement that Disney are going to release ‘Star Wars 7’ in 2015.

Meanwhile I was on FaceTime to my Dad discussing a family christening, plans for Christmas, how he’s lost loads of weight (well done Dad!), the dogs he’s been taking photos of and other mundane family stuff. Scifi hubby starts to spin slowly in the corner with the laptop. I ignore him for a while but eventually he reaches a critical mass at which point I have to intervene or risk a black hole forming in the living room.

It reminds me a lot of when Episode One came out all those years ago. Back then we were newly engaged and I had to own up that I had never seen Star Wars. I know, I know – shock horror, but some of us read books instead whilst growing up. In fact my lack of movie knowledge and viewing could be a whole other post. Scifi hubby fixed that fairly swiftly and luckily I quite liked the movie. It will never be my moral compass but its entertaining enough.

In 1999 Scifi hubby was torn between being very excited and hoping for brilliant new films and really feeling they shouldn’t do it. The build up to Episode One was immense with new toys, midnight openings at toy shops to buy the first wave of figures before the film came out (yes we queued outside ToysrUs for four hours to meet Darth Vader and buy plastic toys), the teaser posters, images of Tatooine etc etc. And then the movie came out.

20121030-230720.jpg We happened to be on holiday at the time but managed to get tickets to a preview screening. It was the first time I’d ever been to a cinema with people in fancy dress and lightsabres who screamed and clapped all the way though. I’m still not sure what they were clapping at – screaming I can understand. Running from the cinema crying I could understand. But I never understood the clapping…

Scifi hubby was SO disappointed and swore he wouldn’t watch the second film. In fact we didn’t go to see Attack of the Clones for about two weeks after it came out. I’m being banned from telling you that story (maybe one day) but suffice to say he actually loved that one.

So it feels like we are all back on the Star Wars merry-go-round again. This time Disney get to make everyone excited, dash their hopes, destroy their dreams and then quietly surprise them into liking it after all (I hope).

Scifi hubby’s final quote of the day “I’m cautious but optimistic… I just don’t want to be hurt again”. Who said Star Wars wasn’t a love affair?

Oct 20 2012

Wibble wobble, wibble wobble, boobs in lycra on a plate

Cosplayers are a strange breed of people. Some are obviously having a lot of fun, others are very serious. Some are desperate to have their photo taken (in fact I heard one Dr Who complaining to his friends that he wasn’t getting asked to pose enough) but others are grumpy and won’t stop. What’s the point of dressing up like that if you don’t want the attention?

It’s interesting to see how the fashions in costumes change over time. Star wars characters, Superman, Batman, Wonderwoman, DragonBall Z, Spider-Man, Hulk and Dr Who are perennial favourites but others come and go. This year we have a, predictable, number of people in medieval costume. I’m guessing they are meant to be from Game of Thrones but a blonde wig does not make Cersei Lannister or Daenerys Targaryen and a Wolfskin can not turn a skinny teenager into Rob Stark.

There’s quite a lot of people in odd yellow costumes this year. Apparently it’s a character from ‘Adventure Time’ whatever that is. This is their booth…

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My favourite costumes are the kids. There was a gorgeous Ewok baby (below), a very cool toddling Wonderwoman, Deadpool was pushing a pram with a baby Green Lantern in it and there was a lot of little Batmen running around.

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I do love some of the female costumes. There seems to be a competition over who has the biggest boobs and can balance them so they almost fall out of their lycra costumes. Scifi hubby got ‘caught’ staring at boobs a few times. I can’t really tell him off but it’s really funny when the women look offended. For goodness sake girls if you don’t want them looked at try covering your nipples. There was one notable costume where Scifi Hubby was so busy staring he didn’t manage to get a photo, and now can’t even tell me what the costume was – I don’t think he was looking to see what colour the Lycra was and whether the woman had a mask on! My favourite Scifi hubby photo of the show has to be when he met WonderWoman…

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And surreal cosplay moment of the convention goes to the Mighty Morphing Power Rangers on an escalator…

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