Aug 20 2014

Jingle Bells, Space Wolves smell, Scifi wife ran away…

Sometimes Scifi hubby sinks to new levels of geekness that surprise even me. I knew that when he was a teenager he was a huge Warhammer 40,000 fan (those strange ‘Games Workshop’ stores on the high street to those of us who had a life). I knew there was a box of little lead figures which he had painted which have been moving house with us. I knew he went through a phase of being hooked on the Warhammer 40,000 iPad game recently, but that’s harmless, right?

I had (naively it seems) assumed he had left a longing for painting little lead toys and playing out imaginary games on a table top decorated to look like another planet when he grew up and discovered girls. I have been proved wrong. Tonight I caught him writing a message on Facebook to a fellow geeky friend (sorry Mat but you’re definitely a geek too) which surpassed his usual levels of geekery. Here’s the message with some added commentary from me:

“Yes I’ve been following the progress of the new Space Wolves for the last month.”
Actually I think I vaguely knew about this. I seem to have been drip fed information that I now realise is squatting in my brain. I just hope it’s not taking up useful space that I needed for something else like remembering how to make pancakes.

“Logan Grimnar, the chapter Master rides upon a sleigh. Do you remember the Squats from the 1980s/early 90s? Well it looks like they all moved to the Space Wolves home world of Fenris as weapons masters, making and forging weapons for the Space Wolves.”
Oh god now I’m worried as I actually understand half of this. For those who care Logan Grimnar is the name of a person (well a Space Wolf but let’s not split hairs here). He’s the head of the army for the Space Wolves for want of a better description. Squats I hadn’t come across before but boy do I know about them now… I really must learn not to ask questions.

“So all in all sounds pretty good, until you get a smart arse on the internet who points out something blatantly obvious – they’ve turned Logan Grimnar into Father Christmas and Squats into his happy elves.”
Erm, not sure where to start on this. Is Father Christmas eight foot tall, wearing a wolf skin with superhuman powers? I hope the elves still make toys not weapons. What would become of Rudolph in such circumstances?

“I would quite happily get back into collecting and painting Warhammer 40,000 stuff”
No no no no no no no no NO!

“but I just can’t justify the price.”
Phew.

“The plastic figures are far more expensive than ever the lead ones were. Its just absolutely ridiculous… The only way I would get back into it is if they went back to lead figures for the character figures.”
Unlikely so I think I’m probably safe. Now it just need to make sure Scifi baby doesn’t get ‘infected’ with this nonsense otherwise I am in trouble.

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Aug 5 2014

Smootchy poothchies baby – meeting @ThatKevinSmith #NIFF

I’m massively behind on my blog posts. So shoot me (Han shot first). I give up. Between a full time job, a seven month old baby and Scifi hubby I barely have time to think let alone type at the moment. However, loads has been happening in Scifi hubby world. We’ve met Kevin Smith, been to London Film and Comic Con, had a ‘Bat’ism and been burgled. And that’s before we start on the odd craziness that seems to follow Scifi hubby around. So I’m going to tell you the stories randomly, as I find time, energy and the relevant photos…

Let’s start with Kevin Smith.

Scifi hubby is a huge fan of Kevin Smith. He loves his movies but more than that he is addicted to his podcasts. To give both of them some credit some of the podcasts are actually quite entertaining. The only catch is that there seems to be a new podcast every day and Scifi hubby hasn’t yet worked out how to pause them so once he presses ‘play’ I’m glared at for speaking/breathing. Anyone who knows me can tell you that shutting me up for two minutes let alone two hours takes a miracle and making Scifi baby be quiet for that long is quite simply impossible. So Scifi hubby is mostly resigned to listening late at night or on long car journeys.

Kevin Smith announced that he was doing a few live shows in the UK recently and several of Scifi hubby’s friends managed to get tickets to the shows. Scifi hubby wandered round like a green eyed monster for a few days as we couldn’t go back to the UK for any of the shows.

Meanwhile… One Saturday morning I was checking the George R. Martin website to find out when he is finally going to publish the last book in the Game of Thrones series. (No, I’m not watching the TV show. I’ve loved the books for years and want to know the ending. I’m pissed off with the TV show as it’s delayed publication and is now, allegedly, changing the end to suit the TV. Don’t get me started…) There’s no answer on a publication date but the site mentions that he is going to be at the Neuchatel International Fantastic Film Festival (NIFFF). Neuchatel is very close to where we live and possibly the least likely town to host a huge Scifi film festival but apparently it does. I found their website and realised that the two week long festival actually started that day but the dates for George R. Martin clashed with us going to the UK for London Film and Comic Con so there was no way I could meet him and throw tomatoes at him until he gave us a publication date. However I also spotted that strangely Kevin Smith was going to be a guest of honor at the Festival too!

I mentioned this to Scifi hubby who refused to get excited and was very pessimistic about our chance of getting tickets, managing to see him etc. In the end I phoned the festival information line who told me that Kevin was speaking at the festival that afternoon, tickets were free and there were tickets available. I quickly ‘buy’ a ticket for Scifi hubby and, once I’ve peeled him off the ceiling, stuff him into the car along with Scifi baby and head into Neuchatel.

We got to the cinema with an hour to kill so got a drink in the cafe/bar outside. Sometimes you really know that you are in Switzerland and this was definitely one of those moments. Sitting in the sunshine having a drink fifteen minutes before a world renowned director is due to give a ‘masterclass’ at an International film festival and there was no queue. A few other people were clearly having a drink and waiting too but in the UK/USA this would have been sold out with a two hour queue to get in to the venue not a civilized glass of wine. Also the ‘guest’ would have been smuggled into the building through a back entrance. So we were more than a little surprised when Kevin and his wife just wandered up the path behind Scifi hubby.

Scifi hubby jumped up like a teenage girl at a music concert and asked Kevin if he would sign a couple of books he had brought with him that Kevin had written. Well, that’s what he tried to do. What came out was more high pitched, squeaky and breathless than he expected. He ended up babbling away about how Kevin was one of his heroes and he hadn’t been this excited to meet someone since he met Adam West. Luckily Kevin was very nice, signed his books and even took a selfie with him.

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Scifi hubby went in to see the masterclass and Scifi baby and I went for a walk and ice cream. The end of the story? No. We went back to meet him an hour later and were a little early so Scifi baby and I got chatting to his wife who was lovely. I still can’t believe she doesn’t kill Kevin for some of the things he says about their relationship on the podcasts. Scifi hubby came out of the cinema bouncing up and down as he had asked a question during the Q&A session. Kevin had said on that week’s podcast that he been invited to visit the Star Wars set whilst he was in England so Scifi hubby showed off his true geek credentials, proved he listens to the podcast and asked what it was like to go on the Millenium Falcon. What’s more the whole event was being recorded and can be found here (Scifi hubby is around 33mins in).

So Scifi hubby ‘beat’ his friends. Not only did he get to listen to Kevin Smith but he also met him and got to ask a question. If he gets any more smug we may need to evacuate the area. My only concern is that Scifi hubby is starting to model his ‘fashion’ sense on Kevin Smith – really not a good idea.

Jun 14 2014

A scifi lullaby

My singing is usually limited to singing in the shower. Scifi hubby is fairly definite that I shouldn’t be allowed to sing in public. However having a baby changes all that as mum’s are expected to sing to their babies. Of course scifi baby (or more to the point scifi hubby) isn’t content with renditions of ‘Twinkle twinkle little star’ or ‘Baa baa black sheep’. Of course not. I had to create a scifi friendly song to sing. Somehow we ended up with a comic book version of ‘She’ll be coming round the mountain’…

She’ll be coming round the mountain when she comes
She’ll be coming round the mountain when she comes
She’ll be coming round the mountain
Coming round the mountain
She’ll be coming round the mountain when she comes

She’ll have Batman with her when she comes
She’ll have Batman with her when she comes
She’ll have Batman with her
She’ll have Batman with her
She’ll have Batman with her when she comes

He’ll be wearing blue and grey when he comes
He’ll be wearing blue and grey when he comes
He’ll be wearing blue and grey
Wearing blue and grey
He’ll be wearing blue and grey when he comes

He’ll be in the Batmobile when he comes
He’ll be in the Batmobile when he comes
He’ll be in the Batmobile
In the Batmobile
He’ll be in the Batmobile when he comes

They’ll have Robin with them when they come
They’ll have Robin with them when they come
They’ll have Robin with them
They’ll have Robin with them
They’ll have Robin with them when they come

He’ll be wearing red and green when he comes
He’ll be wearing red and green when he comes
He’ll be wearing red and green
Wearing red and green
He’ll be wearing red and green when he comes

They’ll have Wonderwoman with them when they come
They’ll have Wonderwoman with them when they come
They’ll have Wonderwoman
They’ll have Wonderwoman
They’ll have Wonderwoman with them when they come

She’ll be wearing her tiara when she comes
She’ll be wearing her tiara when she comes
She’ll be wearing her tiara
Wearing her tiara
She’ll be wearing her tiara when she comes

She’ll be flying the invisible plane when she comes
She’ll be flying the invisible plane when she comes
She’ll be flying the invisible plane
Flying the invisible plane
She’ll be flying the invisible plane when she comes

They’ll have Superman with them when they come
They’ll have Superman with them when they come
They’ll have Superman with them
They’ll have Superman with them
They’ll have Superman with them when they come

He’ll be wearing a big ‘s’ when he comes
He’ll be wearing a big ‘s’ when he comes
He’ll be wearing a big ‘s’
He’ll be wearing a big ‘s’
He’ll be wearing a big ‘s’ when he comes

He’ll be flying alongside them when he comes
He’ll be flying alongside them when he comes
He’ll be flying alongside them
Flying alongside them
He’ll be flying alongside them when he comes

They’ll sing ay ay yippee yippee ay
They’ll sing ay ay yippee yippee ay
They’ll sing ay ay yippee
Ay ay yippee
They’ll sing ay ay yippee yippee ay

All done whilst bouncing/rocking a not so little baby. Of course there are additional verses on Aquaman, Spider-Man, Mr Fantastic, Hulk and Iron Man as well but luckily Scifi baby is rarely awake long enough to need them.

By Scifiwife
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May 2 2014

Frequently asked questions – can I bluetac the babies head?!

*I’m discovering that Scifi baby does not understand the concept of blogging and certainly would rather mum played with him than tapped away on her iPad… I’ll blog when I can but apologies now for the gaps!*

One of the questions I seem to hear, and ask, a lot at the moment is ‘is it normal for a baby to…?’. The question can be on anything from sleeping or eating to making noises like a dinosaur – a very happy, high pitched dinosaur. In true scifi fashion I can add a few Q&As to the list:

What is the normal age to visit a comic shop for the first time?
I’m not sure if it’s normal but Scifi baby visited his first at six weeks and has been to four now. He even played in the stock room, had his nappy changed and had his lunch in one of them.

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How do you take a passport photo of a baby?
Now this is a common question on patenting forums but I don’t think Scifi hubby’s answer is quite so normal. At just two days old he suggested bluetacking the baby’s head to the floor in a conversation very reminiscent of Bill Murray in Scrooged. I don’t think he was serious… (Scifi Grandad took the photos for us in the end with no bluetac or staples involved I promise!)

At what age should you first watch Star Wars and which movie should you start with?
The second part of this question is a no-brainer for me – it’s got to be episode four. In fact I might pretend episodes 1-3 don’t exist. Ignoring the precocious parenting ‘advice’ about TV/screen time for babies completely Scifi baby watched ‘A New Hope’ at just three days old whilst still in hospital.

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How many superhero outfits should a baby have?
Erm… Do other baby clothes exist? I thought babygros only came as Batman, Superman or Spiderman. Oh and Tigger so we get to laugh at our darling baby with ears and a tail.

What age should a child first watch Aliens?
Ok so he’s not really seen the movie, even Scifi hubby draws a line somewhere. But he has visited the HR Giger museum in Gruyeres already and compared notes with the bullet babies.

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I’m sure I’ll find more in the next few weeks. I’m now back at work and Scifi hubby has become full time stay at home dad which has huge potential for some interesting scifi nonsense. I’ve already caught him watching Pepper Pig and Thomas the Tank Engine. Sadly Scifi baby isn’t that interested in the Batman cartoons just yet…

Jan 28 2014

A special delivery

I know there’s been a gap in my blog posts but I’ve had my hands full with a special delivery that arrived just after Christmas. No, not the huge Sideshow Collectibles Batman statue (although Scifi hubby is almost as excited about that) but the arrival of Scifi baby.

20140128-193714.jpgWhich parcel was Scifi hubby more excited about I wonder?! Scifi baby (top – yes that really is Scifi baby in the box) or Sideshow Collectibles PF Batman statue (bottom) – in case you can’t tell them apart.

I know you all want cute baby photos and I’ve ruined it by putting Hulk’s head on Scifi baby but like all photos on this blog he is staying in disguise 🙂 We have had a long debate over which character he should be and finally decided that Hulk was the most appropriate. Hopefully he will be as intelligent as Dr Bruce Banner and he is certainly calm and lovely most of the time. However when he “goes Gremlin” it is like watching Dr Banner transform into the Hulk and go raging. Even Betty Ross would struggle to calm him.

Of course all the usual baby platitudes apply: he’s gorgeous, mother and baby are both doing well etc etc. However as a Scifi baby there are a whole other set of references that are being rolled out. Most babies look like Winston Churchill – Scifi baby looks like Yoda. Most babies cry/scream – Scifi baby “goes gremlin” but still needs feeding after midnight. Most parents pretend to eat their baby’s fingers and toes – Jaws is involved in the Scifi household. Most babies have a cute blanket in their car seat – Scifi baby has a Batman cowl/cape blanket. Most babies have pastel bedrooms and bedding – Scifi baby has Batman bedding in his cot and Avengers in his Moses basket. Most babies like nursery rhymes and soft classical music – Scifi baby goes quiet to the opening score of Star Wars A New Hope.

I’m hoping ‘normal service’ on the blog will resume now as I manage to type while he sleeps and you can be sure that the usual scifi craziness hasn’t stopped just because of a baby in the house…

Dec 19 2013

Jingle bells, Batman smells, Robin flew away

It’s the first year we’ve spent Christmas at home for a while and we put the Christmas decorations up this week. I love Christmas and we seem to collect more and more Christmas ‘stuff’ each year. In fact we have ten huge plastic boxes in the cellar which poor Scifi hubby had to drag upstairs so I could rummage through them (you don’t make a nine months pregnant Scifi wife rummage in boxes in the cellar – at least if you want to stay alive that is).

20131219-135035.jpgI’ve never been someone who wants a perfectly matching set of decorations. Most of the decs are red, green and gold or Santa shaped but it’s never been a hard and fast rule. Which is just as well as what I hadn’t completely realised was how much Scifi hubby has been influencing our decoration purchases over recent years…

I think it started with the nativity scene. Years ago I insisted we had to have one and although Scifi hubby really isn’t into religion he compromised when we found a nativity scene made from Playmobil (more on this last year). A couple of statues from Nightmare Before Christmas appeared a few years ago as did a singing Grinch and Shrek and Donkey with Christmas hats. Somewhere along the lines we collected a full set of four inch tall Muppet toys (from McDonalds I think) which now go on the Christmas tree.

This year I got part way through putting the decorations and decided to go for a nap (I’m blaming Scifi baby). When I came back Scifi hubby had finished putting all the decorations up and the scale of the Scifi/movie/kitsch invasion became clear. Our Christmas tree may be the only one to include: Batman; Catwoman; two batmobiles one of which plays the Batman theme tune; Superman; Spider-Man; Darth Vader (in a Santa hat); Jabba the Hutt (on his plinth); King Kong; Dumbo; Peter, Stewie and Brian from Family Guy; a full set of Muppets; Shrek and Donkey; the Grinch; Playmobil Santa, angel and various people; Spongebob Square Pants and Patrick; Jack, Sally and the little henchmen Lock, Stock and Barrel from Nightmare Before Christmas; various Smurfs; German glass Christmas ornaments of Santa on a motorbike, Santa in a UFO, a fat cat, a fat fairy, a glittery hedgehog etc; and of course a Coca-Cola truck and polar bear. Oh and going round the bottom of the tree there’s a musical Santa Express steam train.

I think the theme has become Scifi Christmas kitsch. I suppose I should be glad we still have a normal angel on the top – although that could just be because he’s never found a suitable Poison Ivy figure.

Can you spot them all…

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Dec 6 2013

Strange noises from the cellar

I’ve spent this morning pottering about the house and doing the final sewing for the nursery. I lost Scifi hubby a couple of hours ago but just assumed he was in his Batcave. I realised just now that there are some very strange noises coming from behind the cellar door. I opened the door to find Scifi hubby lying on the top of the cellar steps in his Hulk pyjamas with my iPad.

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Apparently he is playing the new Space Hulk app which is ‘amazing’, ‘brilliant’, ‘like being 13 again’. It is also very dark and needs wifi. Hence the cellar steps – dark enough to play but not too far from the wifi! I knew he used to play Warhammer 40,000 when he was a teenager but I thought he’d left this element of extreme geekery behind. Seemingly not. I think I’ll be lucky not to have the house invaded by little lead figures.

Seemed a suitable day to wear my new tshirt…

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Nov 5 2013

Can a whisk create the Joker or does it take a toaster?

I love baking but don’t often get a chance. However I really fancied golden syrup pudding last week so ended up making one. As I whisked the ingredients together using a really old electric hand whisk that I inherited from my Granny the whisk started to make awful grinding noises. I got the cake made and in the oven and asked Scifi hubby to have a look at the whisk to see if he could fix it.

Fast forward a week and Scifi hubby proudly shows me a fixed whisk. Fantastic until it becomes obvious he really liked the golden syrup pudding and had fixed the whisk in the hope I would make it again. So, for the second Sunday in a row I’m in the kitchen making cake. I turn the whisk on and start whisking the cake and suddenly, Scifi hubby runs into the kitchen at high speed to peer intently over my shoulder.

Turns out he had tested the whisk but not actually with the ‘blades’ on and had sudden images of me being electrocuted by the whisk. Apparently this would be bad enough but could turn him into the Joker as well which would either be a disaster or fantastic I’m not sure exactly which. As I rolled around laughing at him he tried to explain, in absolute seriousness, that one of the things that sent the Joker over the edge into madness was the death of his pregnant wife caused by a faulty toaster. I think he had visions of ‘history’ repeating itself and him becoming one of the greatest super villains of all time.

We wouldn’t want to risk him ending up in Arkham Asylum now would we? So maybe I should stay away from all electrical kitchen appliances for a few weeks – Scifi hubby can make the tea for a while.

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The Killing Joke – the Batman book with the Joker’s backstory and wife

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The Joker’s wife, Jeannie, before she was attacked by a toaster

Oct 29 2013

Where does Batman keep his wallet?

We decided months ago that the nursery would have a superhero theme. There really was no getting round it. Then Scifi hubby saw a set of furniture he loved. Now he doesn’t normally go crazy over furniture so this was a little unexpected but he fell in love with a car themed bedroom. A car shaped bed, a petrol pump for a wardrobe and a toolbox for a chest of drawers – all in bright red. The problem was how to fit this in with superheroes…

The solution is the Batcave. I never really noticed but apparently Batman has a full garage down there. How else does he keep the Batmobile running and full of fuel? He can’t exactly pull up to a garage and ask them to have a look at the brakes or to change the tyres now can he? Similarly he can’t really pull into a petrol station to fill up. For a start he’d look pretty silly and for a second where would he keep his wallet? As my mother pointed out he can’t exactly put it in his skin tight suit and it would spoil the lines of his cape if it had a pocket.

I particularly love that this saga involved my mother discussing the finer points of Batman’s costume. She normally just rolls her eyes at Scifi hubby, smiles and humours him (just as she is probably doing now whilst reading this – hi mum!). However my parents are really kindly buying the baby’s furniture for us so we had a very long conversation about filling the Batmobile with petrol and where Batman keeps his wallet. Scifi hubby later suggested it could go on the Bat-utility belt but no one thought of that at the time.

So the nursery is on the way to becoming the Batcave (1960s version all primary colours and not really black) with the Avengers crashing through the ceiling for a bit of DC/Marvel balance. Complete with a ‘Bat toolbox’ and a ‘Bat petrol pump’. We even have a dinosaur (or it could be a dragon) called Victor.

I have drawn the line at a racing car bed for now though. Mostly on the grounds that baby won’t need a proper bed for a few years yet so we need a cot not a bed – and no he’s not turning the cot into a Batmobile. He has, however, managed to talk me into making Batman and Superman cot bed sheets.

20131029-213320.jpgThe original Batcave

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Oct 15 2013

There may be trouble ahead…

I’ve waited a while to tell you this and I’ve been struggling to find a Scifi way to say it but I’m all out of ideas. I toyed with ‘It’s a trap’ or ‘Is it a bird, is it plane, no it’s a ….’. Scifi hubby suggested ‘Luke – I am your father’ but that doesn’t quite cut it either. So I’m just going to say it: I’m pregnant. We’re having a baby. A Scifi baby. In fact a Scifi son. What have I let myself in for?

We’re both over the moon. Scifi hubby has been excitedly buying all sorts of baby things since we found out (some of the funnier moments coming in future posts). I love the fact that I’m the one looking at prams, cots, baby baths, baby monitors etc whilst he’s hunting for the perfect Superman baby-grow

So the obvious questions and answers:
Baby is due at Christmas
I’m feeling fine but beginning to look like a hippo (if he dares call me Jabba he’s a dead Scifi hubby)
No the baby will not be called anything comic book or Scifi related. I’m diligently checking all name suggestions to make sure none sneak through.
The nursery is going to be superhero themed but both DC and Marvel – apparently our child will be “bi-comic curious”
We already have several Batman baby grows, and Superman, and Star Wars, and Iron Man…

If it is a superhero in there then my money is on a baby Batman. It certainly feels like he’s practicing his martial arts already.

20131015-223703.jpgPhoto from a few months ago that we sent to friends to tell them the news. I’m looking more like a hippo now and that t-shirt definitely doesn’t fit me now!

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